By Coleman H., 12th grade

I never know what to expect when I walk into Queer Student Union (QSU). In my three years of being a co-leader alongside fellow classmates Claire C. and Talia L., every meeting has been unique in some way.

Perhaps it’s the locations of the meetings that stand out. I’ve led discussions in Spanish classrooms, art classrooms, and English classrooms. Maybe it’s the wide range of UPrep community members who might show up to any given meeting. As a space for both students and faculty/staff members, our conversations are always filled with multigenerational perspectives.

Perhaps it’s because our topics are always changing, or maybe it’s the conversation you can’t always follow, or maybe it’s both the listening silence and the voices that fill the space as we watch and reflect on a documentary or presentation. Every meeting is different, and I love them all.

When I entered the Upper School, the QSU existed as UPrep’s Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA). Initially, joining the GSA didn’t appeal to me. I had only recently come to terms with my sexuality, and I was still far from fully embracing it. I had spent so long denying this part of my identity, and it wasn’t so easy to just walk into the GSA room. Looking back, I think that it was about pride and an unwillingness to admit that I was possibly wrong. As a Middle School student, people assumed I was gay, and I had always denied that—even if I knew deep down that they were correct. When I came out in high school, I felt like I was losing some sort of battle against my peers: They were right about me, and I was wrong. I was embarrassed.

When the pandemic hit and I was suddenly stuck inside, I began to research and discover ways to connect with other LGBTQ+ students around the state, as well as become engaged in activism for queer students. As I joined these various programs and met more people, I began to gain more confidence in my own identity, and I turned my focus back to UPrep. Along with three friends, I spent the beginning of my sophomore year giving the GSA a makeover. The first step was to change the name of our organization. In the context of LGBTQ+ individuals, “queer” was and still is a derogatory slur that has been reclaimed by us. If at its core to be queer is to be different and to be othered, then isn’t that what defines us as a community? Sexuality and gender are fluid concepts that cannot be put into simple terms, and so what better way to describe them than by using a word like “queer.”

Like the fluidity of queerness, the space we now call QSU has been through many stages and versions. Before it was openly advertised, meetings for LGBTQ+ community members at UPrep happened in a space called “Cake with Fleming,” where students and faculty members could openly talk about their queer identities with Paul Fleming, UPrep’s first openly gay teacher. I’ve always loved getting to work with Mr. Fleming. To me, he’s an important part of the LGBTQ+ community and history at UPrep. Mr. Fleming was creating community and fostering feelings of belonging before it was even OK to speak out loud about queer identities confidently.

Today, I try to mimic those same skills that Mr. Fleming first instilled into UPrep’s queer spaces. In addition to holding educa­tion meetings where all UPrep community members are invited to learn and discuss topics and events that affect queer students around the school (as well as the city, state, country, and world), the QSU holds closed affinity space meetings once a month that are only open to individuals who identify with the word “queer.” In these closed rooms, we courageously discuss our own experiences at UPrep and dive into personal stories.

The goal of QSU is for all members of our community to know that there is a space on campus for them: a place where they’ll feel comfortable and accepted and feel a sense of belonging.

READ MORE BLOGS IN OUR STUDENT LIFE SERIES