At UPrep, our affinity group program offers students, faculty, and staff the opportunity to join a community they personally identify with. In affinity groups, members speak from the “I perspective” about shared experiences related to their identity. In addition to student leaders, adult advisors share their experiences, their own identity exploration, and how they navigate the world.

UPrep’s affinity groups support students’ positive identity exploration and development, which leads toward the larger goal of creating an inclusive and thriving learning environment. I love how educator Darrell Fine explains the need for affinity groups:

“The reason why affinity groups exist in the first place isn’t because students want to segregate themselves from the rest of the population, but because the population is excluding them to begin with. Gathering in safe spaces around shared identity allows students to engage in conversations about how they can subvert the structures that push them to the margins. In turn, these conversations push the school to be more social-activist-oriented and less assimilationist-oriented.”

When students share their experiences during meeting times, they learn that they have some things in common. They also discover that not everybody has the same experiences as them—everyone’s life is different. Furthermore, some affinity groups include numerous identities, like the Asian, Pacific Islander Student Union (APISU) and the Latine Student Union (LSU). Still, they have a space to feel included in this small community. Within the affinity group, they know there are people who share commonalities with them, and they can talk about issues with each other. This safe space helps them feel less weighed down and more confident in the larger community. Someone I have worked with likens it to being in an orchestra: the flutists practice together and talk about flute stuff on their own, and then they can come back together and play with the full orchestra.

UPrep affinity groups offer a time and space for empowerment of individual students and of the group within the greater community. This year, active affinity groups include APISU, the Black Student Union, LSU, the Multicultural Student Union, the Muslim Student Alliance, the Queer Student Union, and White Aspiring Allies. Below, two co-leaders of affinity groups share their experience within their group.
 

Belonging in the Black Student Union
By Hebaq Farah, 12th grade

I’ll always remember my first day at BSU (Black Student Union). I knew attending UPrep for my freshman year was going to be different. I would no longer be in a space where I could easily see myself in my classmates. Private school felt like a foreign concept to the 14-year-old Hebaq who had attended public school for her entire life. To adapt to being in a new space, I mistakenly thought I needed to change. Suddenly I was speaking at a higher pitch, smiling more, and changing my language choices. That first day of BSU was my breath of fresh air.

BSU was and has always been a space where I felt I could be my authentic self, without having to change and adapt for acceptance. Entering a new environment is always a very difficult process, and one of the first things we look for is a space where we belong. For me, that sense of belonging was created by Lillian, Rihan, Devin, and Hibak, who were the first upper-class students that I interacted with. It was their kindness that inspired me to eventually become one of this group’s leaders.

Over these last couple of years, BSU has been more than a club; it’s been a family. Outside of the club, BSU members acknowledge and support each other in classes and sports teams and through genuine friendships. As a younger student, when I needed help picking classes and extracurriculars, I relied on older members to help. Now, when I need college advice and an extra set of eyes on my essays/supplementals, I know I have a whole support system that I can rely on.

Belonging. While for some it’s in a space and for others among a group of people, finding a way to belong is one of the most instinctual ways that humans survive. Belonging occurs when a person is comfortable enough to let their guard down and know that they are in a state of being that allows them to be vulnerable. While some may be a part of many groups, belonging is that additional layer of safety. A person is not going to belong in every space that they are a part of, but it is important that people are willing to extend that olive branch to new people whom they encounter. While similarities may be the first way that people gravitate toward each other, genuineness, kindness, and openness are necessary to maintain that sense of belonging for people. When I look at other affinity groups at UPrep and I speak to their leaders, I feel a sense of joy. Hearing the way that these leaders speak about their goals and aspirations for their clubs and their members, I know that they are fostering a community for members in their spaces. For the members of our UPrep community who are one of few who share similar identities, I believe that affinity groups are an integral part of the UPrep experience.

As I near the end of my years here, I know that my time in affinity groups created experiences that I’ll take with me for the years to come! I will never forget how many people I had the opportunity to meet and become friends with through these groups. This year, I hope to continue contributing and doing my part so that the BSU is a space that is welcoming, fun, and comforting for Black students in our school. I want BSU to
always be a space of celebration and acceptance at UPrep.
 

Celebrating Community in the Queer Student Union
By Coleman Hunter, 12th grade

I never know what to expect when I walk into Queer Student Union (QSU). In my three years of being a co-leader alongside fellow classmates Claire Crawford and Talia LeVine, every meeting has been unique in some way.
Perhaps it’s the locations of the meetings that stand out. I’ve led discussions in Spanish classrooms, art classrooms, and English classrooms. Maybe it’s the wide range of UPrep community members who might show up to any given meeting. As a space for both students and faculty/staff members, our conversations are always filled with multigenerational perspectives. Perhaps it’s because our topics are always changing, or maybe it’s the conversation you can’t always follow, or maybe it’s both the listening silence and the voices that fill the space as we watch and reflect on a documentary or presentation. Every meeting is different, and I love them all.

When I entered the Upper School, the QSU existed as UPrep’s Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA). Initially, joining the GSA didn’t appeal to me. I had only recently come to terms with my sexuality, and I was still far from fully embracing it. I had spent so long denying this part of my identity, and it wasn’t so easy to just walk into the GSA room. Looking back, I think that it was about pride and an unwillingness to admit that I was possibly wrong. As a Middle School student, people assumed I was gay, and I had always denied that—even if I knew deep down that they were correct. When I came out in high school, I felt like I was losing some sort of battle against my peers: They were right about me, and I was wrong. I was embarrassed.

When the pandemic hit and I was suddenly stuck inside, I began to research and discover ways to connect with other LGBTQ+ students around the state, as well as become engaged in activism for queer students. As I joined these various programs and met more people, I began to gain more confidence in my own identity, and I turned my focus back to UPrep. Along with three friends, I spent the beginning of my sophomore year giving the GSA a makeover. The first step was to change the name of our organization. In the context of LGBTQ+ individuals, “queer” was and still is a derogatory slur that has been reclaimed by us. If at its core to be queer is to be different and to be othered, then isn’t that what defines us as a community? Sexuality and gender are fluid concepts that cannot be put into simple terms, and so what better way to describe them than by using a word like “queer.”

Like the fluidity of queerness, the space we now call QSU has been through many stages and versions. Before it was openly advertised, meetings for LGBTQ+ community members at UPrep happened in a space called “Cake with Fleming,” where students and faculty members could openly talk about their queer identities with Paul Fleming, UPrep’s first openly gay teacher. I’ve always loved getting to work with Mr. Fleming. To me, he’s an important part of the LGBTQ+ community and history at UPrep. Mr. Fleming was creating community and fostering feelings of belonging before it was even OK to speak out loud about queer identities confidently.

Today, I try to mimic those same skills that Mr. Fleming first instilled into UPrep’s queer spaces. In addition to holding education meetings where all UPrep community members are invited to learn and discuss topics and events that affect queer students around the school (as well as the city, state, country, and world), the QSU holds closed affinity space meetings once a month that are only open to individuals who identify with the word “queer.” In these closed rooms, we courageously discuss our own experiences at UPrep and dive into personal stories.

The goal of QSU is for all members of our community to know that there is a space on campus for them: a place where they’ll feel comfortable and accepted and feel a sense of belonging.